Non-Escalator Relationship Form
About The Form
This form is designed help you determine what you need, want, and will not accept in a romantic relationship. You can use it on your own to get a better understanding of what you want in your next romantic relationship. You can also fill it out and share it with someone else. Try comparing your responses to those of a current romantic partner to find out where your interests align and where you may need to have further discussion.
Before jumping into what a non-escalator relationship is, it makes sense to understand what the relationship escalator is.
On the site - Off The Relationship Escalator - Amy Gahran defines the relationship escalator in the following way...
The Relationship Escalator is one of many social scripts — customs for how people are “supposed” to behave, and how we “should” think or feel, in certain contexts, situations or interactions. These customs benefit many people, but not always, and not everyone.
Now that we have a common definition for what a relationship escalator is, we can start to understand what it means to be in a non-escalator relationship. In essence a non-escalator relationship is a relationship that does not follow the traditional script.
In the article - Navigating Non-Escalator Relationships - Melina sums this up as...
let's be honest- most relationships you will experience in your life (including platonic ones) are not on an Escalator.
Non-escalator relationships can be short term and casual, and they can also be long term, emotionally invested relationships. They are build-your-own-lunch-box relationships, relationships a la carte.
In the article - Navigating Non-Escalator Relationships - Melina points out...
how do people in non escalator relationships measure the investment? How do they read emotional commitment, security, and the ongoing life of the relationship, when they aren't defaulting to the regular milestones of dating, moving in, getting married, and so forth?
Relationships run a spectrum from very traditional to radically non-traditional. The Non-Escalator Relationship Form can help you to get clarity on the priorities and values you seek in a current relationship or one that is soon to be.